These Phrases shared by A Father That Helped Me during my time as a First-Time Father

"I believe I was simply just surviving for the first year."

Former Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey anticipated to cope with the challenges of being a father.

Yet the actual experience soon proved to be "very different" to what he pictured.

Serious health problems surrounding the birth saw his partner Louise admitted to hospital. Suddenly he was forced into acting as her primary caregiver while also looking after their infant son Leo.

"I handled all the nights, each diaper… every stroll. The role of both parents," Ryan shared.

Following eleven months he reached burnout. It was a talk with his father, on a park bench, that led him to understand he needed help.

The straightforward words "You are not in a good spot. You must get some help. In what way can I assist you?" opened the door for Ryan to express himself truthfully, ask for help and start recovering.

His story is not uncommon, but infrequently talked about. Although people is now better used to discussing the strain on mothers and about post-natal depression, not enough is spoken about the difficulties dads face.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to seek assistance

Ryan believes his struggles are linked to a larger inability to talk among men, who continue to absorb negative notions of masculinity.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the fortress that just gets hit and remains standing every time."

"It isn't a show of weakness to seek help. I failed to do that soon enough," he adds.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a expert focusing on mental health pre and post childbirth, notes men can be reluctant to admit they're struggling.

They can feel they are "not justified to be seeking help" - most notably in preference to a mum and baby - but she stresses their mental health is just as important to the household.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad offered him the space to request a break - spending a few days overseas, separate from the domestic setting, to gain perspective.

He realised he had to make a shift to consider his and his partner's feelings alongside the logistical chores of taking care of a newborn.

When he shared with Louise, he saw he'd failed to notice "what she longed for" -reassuring touch and hearing her out.

'Parenting yourself

That realisation has reshaped how Ryan perceives fatherhood.

He's now composing Leo weekly letters about his journey as a dad, which he aspires his son will read as he gets older.

Ryan hopes these will assist his son better understand the language of emotion and make sense of his parenting choices.

The concept of "parenting yourself" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

When he was young Stephen did not have stable male guidance. Even with having an "wonderful" connection with his dad, profound trauma caused his father had difficulty managing and was "in and out" of his life, affecting their connection.

Stephen says suppressing feelings resulted in him make "poor choices" when younger to change how he felt, seeking comfort in drink and drugs as escapism from the anguish.

"You turn to substances that aren't helpful," he says. "They may short-term modify how you are feeling, but they will eventually make things worse."

Tips for Coping as a New Dad

• Talk to someone - if you feel under pressure, confide in a family member, your partner or a therapist about your state of mind. This can to lighten the load and make you feel more supported.
• Maintain your passions - continue with the things that made you feel like the person you were before having a baby. Examples include exercising, meeting up with mates or gaming.
• Don't ignore the physical health - a good diet, getting some exercise and if you can, sleep, all play a role in how your mental state is faring.
• Spend time with other new dads - hearing about their journeys, the challenges, along with the good ones, can help to validate how you're feeling.
• Remember that asking for help isn't failing - looking after yourself is the optimal method you can look after your loved ones.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen naturally found it hard to accept the death, having not spoken to him for years.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's committed not to "continue the chain" with his boy and instead provide the security and emotional guidance he lacked.

When his son starts to have a tantrum, for example, they try "releasing the emotion" together - processing the frustrations constructively.

The two men Ryan and Stephen say they have become better, healthier men due to the fact that they faced their struggles, altered how they talk, and learned to regulate themselves for their children.

"I have improved at… dealing with things and managing things," says Stephen.

"I wrote that in a letter to Leo recently," Ryan says. "I expressed, sometimes I feel like my job is to teach and advise you on life, but the truth is, it's a dialogue. I am understanding as much as you are through this experience."