This period marks a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” hit the common lexicon. At the time, the concept that someone could instantly end all contact with a partner without any notice seemed like the height of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, seeking a significant other has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes fruitless exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by social media jargon.
Generation Z, a cohort who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a concerted assault on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their Gen Y elders could ever fathom. And so their dating glossary has grown longer and more deranged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the boundaries of your sanity.
What follows is a extensive guide to the phrases Zoomers is using to talk about love, sex and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most viral online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.
Authenticity – According to gen Z, dating’s gold standard is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!
Bird theory – A TikTok trend connected to a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your date's reply is interested or disinterested. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.
Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s response to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while radiating enigma and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)
Chair theory – This means going for someone who supports you proactively. If you entered a room, they would get a chair for you to sit down.
Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped young adults do budget-friendly romance in a post-cheap-date world.
Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your unreciprocated emotions.
DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie excess, it describes pairs who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.
Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of being guarded: practicing communication, honesty and openness.
Flags
Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who loathes the same things or individuals that you do (few things creates closeness faster than having a common enemy).
The band Geese – A musical group many young men listens to.
Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of ghosting.
Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.
Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.
Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.
Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no aspirations of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?
Ick factors – Arbitrary and frequently trivial turnoffs that immediately kill any sense of attraction.
“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic gesture.
Jobs – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in sectors they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, educators or therapists.
Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some gen Z prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.
Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {
Elara is a financial strategist with over a decade of experience in wealth management and entrepreneurship.
